Pemphigus vulgaris - tackle with me

                                   Chapter 4                           “They said, it supposed to be fun, turning 21 ” Stage 2: anger! “ I cried over the white sheet, when I was the art covered in shades” -rgk At home: Every time I thought how worst could it possibly get turned way worse day by day. I hated every bit of myself. I completely hated me the way I looked and smelled. I was too abusive and cruel to myself. I never understood until then “ how much of self hate can a person hold, on oneself!!? ” I pushed my mom every time she tried to get close to me, suggested that my dad stay away from my room, ‘cause I was able to see that it was  suffocating for him to stay in same room .  I used to wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying, and continued maximum nights staring at the ceiling replaying the same pla...

                                              Chapter 3 * Trigger warning! The stages of life grief started to engulf me in order: denial, anger, bargaining, depression    and acceptance.    Every step consumed a huge parts of me leaving me hollow  more than ever! Stage one: Denial   August 2 2023, 1:30am  I was rushed to the hospital (Apollo Hospital) through an ambulance from Chennai international airport. I prepared a complete documented history of my case with the medical prescriptions and images of my skin as per the progress, I prepared this documentation because I wasn’t confident enough whether I will be conscious enough to explain or will be able to bare the pain to show the raw skin for examination. The next minute I found myself at the ER, doctors around me asking about when and how it started, finding my dad next to me in tear...

W hat is an invisible string?   Dr.Murlidhar Rajagopalan head of dermatology , at Apollo hospital Chennai, Tamil Nadu for over 30years. His contribution or one could say his pure passion for dermatology lead him occupy several chairs and he’s one among the international advisory boards of all the major multinationals,I’m proud to say he’s the first person to represent India in the International Psoriasis Council, Atopic dermatitis Board of International Society which grew along with his basic interest in immunology. For past 17 years he has been heading international psoriasis council division of education and started their masters classes and fellowship programs .  His exceptional work on psoriasis drug development is being a life saver for many, and his research for the drug still continues.   He quoted “ psoriasis; more than skin deep ”,  Psoriasis; more than skin deep! One could feel the emphatic stress it carries to convey to the readers that it travels b...

Chp 2:   Do you believe in god? I carried a great interest on watching cartoon as a kid and I still do, they help me to function. The fantasy world gave me comfort! Because all I wanted was Doremon’s magic door at that point. 25 July 2023, I couldn’t take it anymore, the heartache was unimaginable. I took a week off from university ‘cause I wasn’t able to get myself from the bed. I started to lose weight in an unhealthy way. I was no longer able to move a chair on my own or remove my own clothes, so insisted Shreya to cut them and rip them off . I gave her nightmares (“I’m sorry shrey I made you to go through this”). I stood under the cold shower for 2 hours , they used to be the painless hours of my day. I used to call my parents right after the shower so that I would look fresh and hoped they wouldn’t know the pain I’m going through. On 31st July 2023 I received my TRC finally and all I wanted to do was to fly back home, I booked my tickets for 1 August 2023 and booked my r...

      AM I JUST A KID?  Everyday there was this wave of thoughts reminding me to what lengths I was taking myself in desperation. It made me question myself why is it so important for me to look perfect? Why am reaching out to these many lengths just for lips? Is it really just for the appearance or is it an unexplainable fear to accept the fact that I’m falling sick?   The grave ignorance! People often strive to present themselves as flawless and perfect, with society valuing clear, bright skin as a symbol of wealth and cleanliness, while associating darker shades with ignorance. However, the reality remains unchanged; an 11-year-old child should not feel pressured to have a flawless complexion or feel guilty for engaging in sports under the sun. Scars and pigmentation do not hinder one's ability to achieve success or enjoy memorable moments with friends, unaffected by body odor or skin imperfections. Summer breaks should be about enjoying the sun and indulging...

( My experience during these incidents took place while I was away from home (ie.India) and studying medicine in Georgia.)   The symptoms initially manifested in my mouth and throat . I distinctly recall waking up one morning on March 25, 2023 , with a dryness in my throat. I attempted to ease the discomfort by drinking water, but swallowing became incredibly difficult , leading me to believe it was just a common case of dryness after a long break. However, as the days went by, the sore throat intensified , and I became increasingly aware of the presence of recurring mouth ulcers , which is referred to as blisters. These blisters caused me great distress, as they multiplied in both number and size, inflicting constant pain. They bled whenever I brushed my teeth, spit, or attempted to swallow food, creating a burning sensation that plagued me relentlessly.   The measures I implemented to alleviate the discomfort included warm water gargling, using betadiene mouth gargle , re...